“REMEMBER” by Bishop Riley- MY STORY, GOD’S GLORY! (A teenagers journey from depression to CHRIST)

REMEMBER

My name is Bishop Riley. I am writing this book on how I became a follower of Christ. This testimony is based on a true and inspiring story that all of us Christians need to know about. I live in California, where I was born and raised. I was raised in a Christian home where

I was introduced to Christ by my family at a young age. For as long as I could remember my family would always take me to church and taught me to always trust and to put my faith, into God’s hands. There came a day where I had to put what was preached to me to the test. When I was growing up my father, Gregory would always tell me stories about his older brother Butch. My Uncle Butch’s real name is James he was named after my grandfather but he was given the nickname Butch because of his personality. My Uncle Butch was my Ideal when I was growing up and still is to this day. As I was growing up I didn’t get to spend much time around my Uncle but we would talk on the phone frequently. My Father and my Uncle didn’t talk much either.

One day when I was about 14 years old my father was driving me to school and out of curiosity, I asked him why they didn’t talk to each other. He told me that my Uncle had a drug addiction.

When my father told me this he was also explaining that my Uncle’s drug addiction was also the reason why he didn’t let me and my two siblings, Shakira and Braxton, around him that often.

This didn’t affect the way I felt about my Uncle at all. I actually felt extremely sorry for him and I even began to pray for him. One year later after my father explained the whole situation to me about my Uncle, I began my first year as a freshman at Etiwanda High School. Things were going very well for me for the first couple of months of my freshman year until one day I was called up to the front office. As I was walking towards the front office I noticed my Father standing in front of the building and I was very surprised to see him. I asked him what he was doing at the school and he told me that I needed to find a ride after football practice because

he and my Mother, Yecenia, had something very important to take care of. My father looked like he was in a rush so I didn’t ask him what they were doing. The next day I asked my father where they went. He told me that they drove out to San Diego to go see my Uncle because he had become very ill from his drug addiction. He had also been sent to the hospital. After my father told me that my Uncle wanted to see me and my younger brother. About

a week later, my family and I drove to a hospital in Upland where my Uncle was transferred to. When we went to the hospital we found Butch’s room. I was so excited and filled with joy because my dream was finally going to become a reality. I was finally going to be united with my Uncle. When we finally went inside Butch’s room I couldn’t believe what I saw. When I entered Butch’s room I saw nothing but skin and bones. I automatically felt sympathy for him. I had to put on an act like I wasn’t sad about it because Butch was filled up with so much joy to see me and my brother again. I began talking to Butch and we were catching up. It had been several years since we last saw each other. Since it had been so long and my Dad and Butch’s relationship was getting back to normal my Uncle told me that when he recovered we would go out and do something together. He suggested that we should all go fishing because it was something that we all enjoyed. After our visit with Butch, we returned home. Before we went home, I gave Butch a hug and told him that I love him and that he was gonna get through this. He smiled and looked at me and said “I love you too.” As time went by, my family and close family friends were all visiting and taking care of Butch. He was trying hard to recover. At this time I was playing football for my High School and some days after practice my Mother would take me to the hospital where Butch was staying we would check on him and help him out, and see if there was anything that he needed. We were all doing this because when Butch was sick he was just laying down on the hospital bed and his body was not responding well to the treatments that doctors were giving him. This began to worry me and my family. We all started praying for him because he looked like he was growing weaker according to the doctor's information.

One night when I came home from football practice I took a shower and I sat down to do my homework. I turned around and I saw my Dad looked like he was going somewhere. I asked where he was going. My Father told me that my Uncle was transferred to another hospital in Upland because he was getting worse, that he almost had heart failure, and that he might not make it through the night. When my Dad told me this my heart automatically stopped and I stood still like I was stone because I was not able to cope with what I was hearing. It took me a while to snap out of it and when I did I got into the car with my Dad and rushed over to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital, we went inside my Uncle’s room, and little did I know that there was a surprise waiting for me inside of his room. When I opened the door I saw my older sister, Shakira, inside. When I was a child I did not spend a lot of time around her because Shakira and my Mother did not get along. Shakira was really disrespectful to my Mother when they were married. This was because she thought that my Mother messed up my Father and her Mother’s marriage. The way she treated my Mother is also the same way she would treat me and brother Braxton. She would go years without talking or visiting me or Braxton because we were not her brothers in her eyes. Having such a horrible relationship with my sister, made it really weird to see her again. I had to keep my composer because I didn't want my uncle's last memory of me to be a bad one. So just to keep the peace We just said hello and gave each another hug. When we were all at the hospital, we all gathered around Butch and I said a prayer for him. By some miracle, he survived the night but his battle for life and death was still going on. The next day, I received the worst news of my life from my Mother. She told me that my father was talking to her earlier that day and that there was nothing more the doctors could do for my Uncle. The moment she told me I got dressed and got in the car as we were driving to the hospital I was praying that God would spare my Uncle’s life because I knew how bad it was going to hurt watching him pass away. Like I said before, ever since I was a child my Uncle has always been my ideal and in some way, he was like a mythical legend to me and I couldn’t even imagine how my life was going to be with him gone.

When my mom and I arrived at the hospital we were about to walk into Butch’s room my sister, aunt, and my godmother was all outside his room waiting so we could all say goodbye to him together. We sat there for several hours praying. Then his doctor came into the room and gave him medicine to feel more comfortable so he wouldn’t be in so much pain as he was dying. A little later, I heard the worst sound of my life. My Uncle's heart monitor started going on and off. I started to break down and started crying. My sister was crying as well. She told me not to cry. I was very shocked because she was never there for me when I was growing up and she randomly wanted to comfort her little brother? I put that awkward moment to the side because I was too terrified for my Uncle's life. I never thought that I would see the day that my superhero would weaken.

I asked all of my family members to step out of the room because I wanted to be alone with Butch for a while. When they went outside, I started crying even more and I was praying like I had never prayed before and I was begging God to please spare my Uncle's life. I knew a part of me was going to die if he died. I asked my Uncle before he died if he could tell my grandparents that I said hello and if he could give them a hug for me. He made me promise him to never do drugs. After he did this I asked him to let me see his eyes one more time.

We were looking each other in the eyes for the last time. When he closed his eyes, I told him that I loved him. He squeezed my hand to let me know that he loved me too. My dad went into the room with my sister and told me that he wanted to talk to the two of us. He told us “Do you see what happens when you start following the wrong crowd?” He told us that “He left his little brother and that his heart had been broken for years and that if he did drugs that he would be laying down in bed with him and that we would lose a Father too, ``he said that “We are Riley’s and that we are stronger than that and that we need to be there for each other” Then my Father started directing the conversation more to my sister. He said that she needed to change because “You have two brothers that are alive and healthy.” Then he pointed at my Uncle and said .“I have a brother dying in front of me.” After this, she gave me another hug and she told me that she was going to do better as a sister and that she wouldn’t leave me anymore. A few weeks after Butch passed away.

We had a memorial for him at my house where my family was celebrating his life.

After the memorial, my sister and I were on good terms for a while. As time went on I started hearing less from her and she disappeared again. I guess my Uncle's death didn’t help open her eyes.

A couple of months after my Uncle Butch died my Auntie Sophia had a seizure and slipped into a coma. She had later passed away the following year. I never got the chance to tell her goodbye and how much I loved her. Likewise, I did not get to spend that much time with her. I never got the opportunity when I was growing up. This was because of some family issues. This also made my depression even worse because I didn’t really get a chance to be close to my Aunt.

As time went on I was still very sad about my Uncle's death and I became more depressed and I started getting social anxiety. I had these mental health issues for about three years when I was in High School. When I was depressed there was never a day in my life that I could go by without thinking about my Uncle’s death. My family never knew I was going through this because I would never open up to them and tell them how I felt as I should’ve.

Oftentimes I would just lock my door in my room and I would just lay down and cry over my Uncle’s death because I couldn’t find a cure for my pain. One day I decided that I was going to get baptized in honor of him by doing this. I thought all of my mental pain and suffering would come to an end. When I did this I didn’t do it for me. I only did it for my Uncle. After I got baptized, I was confused because all of the pain I had was still there. This left me very lost.

When my family and I would go to Church on Sundays I would go to Church very angry. I didn’t know why God took my Uncle from me so soon. Being this mad and frustrated I was not able to focus on the word of God that the Pastor was saying to the Church.

The reason why I had social anxiety is that when my Dad would tell me stories about my Uncle when I was younger he made him sound like he was a superhero. That is something that I wanted to be ever since I was a child. When I saw my Uncle’s dying body at the hospital I was shown a different story from what I was told by my Father from when I was a child.

When I was going through social anxiety. I had a very difficult time communicating with other people. When I would talk to a person I would have to repeat myself multiple times. I would talk so fast that you couldn't understand what I was saying. I would also chop my words in half as well. Sometimes when I would walk past some of my friends at school. I would pull out my phone and act like I was busy doing something. I was trying to avoid talking because I could feel my anxiety building up.

When I was in the middle of class I would often ask my teachers if I could use the restroom. I would often do this because I felt as if everyone was watching or judging me and every single move that I would make throughout the whole period. There were often times that I would not go out with my friend’s and I would just stay at home in my room. The more I thought of my Uncle's death, the more my anxiety increased.

My parents began to notice.

They started asking me why I was staying at home so much. I told them that I really didn’t feel like going out. When I was talking so fast from anxiety my parents were thinking about putting me into a speech therapy program at my School. Like I said before I was already in High School at the time so I said no. I didn’t want anyone from my school to know that I had a speech problem going on for somebody my age. So instead of going to speech classes, I started going online and I was searching up some tongue twisters to better improve my speech. When I did this, it didn’t really help me to slow down and to pronounce my words any better. When I would get anxious, I would often sweat under my armpits and my palms as well. This was from thinking too much and letting my mind play tricks on me for some things that I shouldn’t have been worried about at all. I had anxiety so bad that I would even get it around my relatives at home. People that I have known ever since I was born that I should always feel comfortable around.

Regarding how big of a problem my situation was. I would also lie to myself and say that I never had these issues at all but deep down I knew that I did. During this time I was thinking about smoking weed and drinking alcohol. I thought about doing this because I figured that it would help me get away from my problems. Then again I knew that it was going to make my life a lot harder. I decided not to do it. I knew that I was also going to be breaking my promise to Butch and making the antichrist smile. One way that I tried to escape my depression was by sleeping. I would sleep as much as possible in order to get away from my emotional pain. However, when I did this, I would have nightmares about watching Uncle Butch dying at the hospital. When I would wake up out of my nightmares. I would be so relieved that it was just a dream. Then again, the relief would soon go away because I would remember that it actually did happen.

I remember this one nightmare I had of Butch dying. I was driving on my way to the hospital. While I was driving there was a line of crack and cocaine on the road. I could also hear Butch’s heart monitor like if it was making a loud echo. When I went into the hospital and into Butch’s room I opened the door. He told me to never do drugs. Then his heart monitor went off and I woke up out of fright. When I would wake up out of those dreams, I would sometimes have sweat all over my body. At time’s I would be so sweaty that I would have to change out of all my clothes. I was having these nightmares because I was overthinking about Butch’s death. There was not a day in my life when I didn't think about it. When I was playing football it was my only coping mechanism with my depression and social anxiety problem. It was like all of life’s problems went away when I was out on the field with my teammates. But later on, during my football career, I was not getting as much playing time as I did my freshman and sophomore year. I asked my coach if I could get a chance at getting some playing time on the varsity.

When I asked him this he wouldn’t even give me a chance. Not to mention Butch also died on the same day when I was playing a game. When I was fighting for a spot on the field it didn’t matter based on who could play better. It was like whoever wanted my spot could take it regardless of what kind of player they were. When this was all happening, I did not seek any prayer or counseling from anyone like I should have when this was all happening during the darkest times of my life. I felt as if I was being mentally crucified with all of my emotions.

Everything just kept piling on top of each other. I’ve kept this all a secret because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing my personal problems with anyone. I started posting stories on my Snapchat account asking how to deal with depression. When I would do this my friends Martel, Daniel, Jasmin, Kassandra would check up on me and They would give me some suggestions on how to deal with my depression and anxiety. Martel, Daniel, and I have been really close friends ever since the sixth grade and we still are to this very day. When I was going through my phase of depression and anxiety. They were one of my supporters. 

The main ones who were supporting me were Jasmin and Kassandra. Jamin and Kassandra would always call and text to see how I was feeling and would text me to wish me a great day.

One evening I got a text from Jasmin. When I opened the text it had a picture of an invitation asking if I would like to go to her sister's party. For some odd reason During that time, I told her yes. After I said yes, Jasmin kept on asking me if I was still going to make it to the party and I kept on telling her yes over and over again. A little while after Jasmin invited me to the party. Kassandra came up to me in class one day. She told me that she was having a birthday party. When she told me this I asked her what day she was planning on having a party. She told me that it was on Saturday. When she told me this I told her that I couldn’t go because I had already been invited to another party on the same day. When I told her this she told me that it was ok with a disappointing look on her face. The day of the party had finally come. When I got to the house where the party was taking place, Jasmin was standing outside in the front yard. When I got out of the car Jasmin walked over with a smile to give me a hug. After she hugged me she told me that she was glad that I made it. We walked over to the backyard where they were having the party for Jasmin's sister. About five minutes later I heard a girl yelling my name and telling me hi. When she did this she ran up and gave me A hug after the hug she showed me her face and it was Kassandra. I asked her what she was doing there and that I thought that she was having a birthday party. She laughed and told me that this was her party. After that Jasmin told me that she and Kassandra are sisters. After they told me I laughed and said oh sorry, I had no idea. During the party, I was a little bit nervous and Jasmin and Kassandra were trying to get me to dance. I said no because it was a Quinceaners meaning a party for a 15-year-old Hispanic girl and I also didn’t know how to dance in that culture. Later on with a little bit more convincing they made me change my mind and they taught me how to dance in their culture. In time I started feeling more comfortable and I wasn’t feeling any anxiety at all. When the party was over they both gave me a hug and told me thanks for coming. When they did so I asked them why they were being so nice to me. They told me “You're our friend and we care about you and love you” When they told me this, I told them that I loved them too. After that the whole conversation made me feel special. Later on, in life, I became closer to them.

They had become like my sisters. It felt really great how well they would treat me like their own brother. When my very own sister didn’t want me, Jasmin and Kassandra had taken me into their family and I got close to their relatives. We became so close that I had even started calling their Mother, Mom, too.

Before you read this part of the story, I would like to apologize to all of those who are reading this. This is very disturbing news that you're about to read. This may make you realize how precious your life is that the Lord has given you. When I was going through this dark time in my life, I started hearing a voice in my head that was telling me to commit suicide one night. The same night when this randomly popped up out of my head it was the same night, I was going to take my own life. The very night when this was going to happen, I felt a lot more depressed than what I was usually feeling. Something about me was off that night. This is something that I would have never thought about or done to myself. Let alone I have a huge family and loved ones who truly love me and have a lot of favor for me as well. This day I felt as if I was being possessed by a demon or some sort of evil spirit playing mind games on me. You would actually have had to have this feeling for yourself to understand what I mean. The night when this was going to go down, I didn’t even tell my family and loved ones that I loved them. I didn’t even write them a note either. When this evil spirit or whatever it was that was in my body, it went inside of my room. It made sure to close the door behind me to make sure that no one would see what its plan was to do to me. After It was done, it told me. “You can’t overdose because you will be breaking your promise to your Uncle Butch” After the evil spirit said this to me it gave me two options. It told me to. “Either get a gun and shoot yourself or cut my wrist with the pocket knife that you have in your room under your desk” After it told me that it pulled out my pocket knife from under my desk that I have in my room. It was placing the knife towards my wrist. When it did so I started crying and it asked me. “What was the point of living if you are so sad all the time”. Just before I was about to take my own life, I had a flashback of Butch and me when we were in the hospital. When I was in the room with him, I was holding his hand when I promised him that I would live a clean life. As I held his hand, I looked up and I saw several scars’s on his arm. When I was younger, I didn’t realize why he had all those scars on his arm but when I was about to commit suicide I kind of connected all of the dots together.

At that point, I realized that Butch also had mental health problems as well as me. After having those flashbacks I quickly put my pocket knife away and that demon or evil spirit left my body and I had lost the thought of suicide. I knew he wouldn’t want me to make the same mistakes that he made. I believe this happened to me because before the situation I had tried to use spells and spiritual contact to talk to Butch. I believe that Satan was doing this because he saw that I wasn’t mentally well at the time. During that time I was also using spiritual contact because I was trying to contact Butch’s spirit. I didn’t realize how selfish I was being towards all of my family and love one’s. How were they going to be able to stomach the fact that I was gone and that they would have to bury me on this earth? I was going to leave a huge hole in all of their hearts. How were they all going to live with this? Knowing that I was the one who was responsible for my own death. I do apologize again to all of those who are reading this. I promise that I will never leave until the Lord calls me to come home to live with him in Paradise.

Little did I know that after this incident a surprise happened that changed my life forever.

Let the Bible Shed some LIGHT on the issue of the trinity doctrine

The day finally came when I reached the peak of my mental health. When I did this I directed my rage towards God. When I did this I asked God why he was allowing all of these horrible things to happen to me. I ask him why would you ever abandon one of his sons and why would you ever take my Uncle away from me if he knew this was going to happen to me? Then I said to God if you're the God who you claim to be then prove to me that my Uncle is with you in paradise.

This is the part of my story where you need to have faith and belief. The moment I said those things I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was inside of this blue portal that looked like it was traveling somewhere with me. Inside of it, I was confused and I didn’t know where it was taking me as it was reaching its destination. You can see a light at the end of the portal. As it hit the light everything began to become a lot brighter and the light began to dim down. I saw that there was a wooden brown door in front of me. For some strange reason, I opened the door. I saw this woman inside there with a baby. She looked like she was laying down on a hospital bed and I walked inside. I told her hi and when I did she looked up at me and told me hi back. I asked her if she just had a baby and she smiled and told me yes I did. Then I asked her what it was and she told me that it was a boy and I said oh ok. I asked her what was his name and she told me his name was Butch. When she said that I was going to tell her that I have an uncle named Butch. Before I could finish my sentence I looked up at the woman and I was in shock to see that It was my grandmother who had passed away from heart problems when I was 10 years old. I was so surprised to see her and I was very confused at the same time. I remember how I was just staring at her for a long time. She looked at me like she was concerned. When my grandmother saw me staring at her she asked me If I was ok. I didn't answer her the first time because I was still in shock when I saw her. I was in even greater shock because I knew that the baby she was holding in her arms was my Uncle Butch. She asked me a second time if I was ok and I said yes I’m fine. When I told her this I asked her if I could pray for Butch. She told me sure you can. When she told me yes she handed me Butch and the moment she did I automatically started praying for him right away I was praying for Butch. I knew what was going to happen to him when he got older. I knew what I was going to go through, with all of the mental health issues that I had during the three years after he had passed away.

When this was going on it was the first time that I had ever come to and prayed to God about the situations that were going on in my life at the time. As I was praying for Butch I was so filled with emotion I began to start crying the very second I did everything around me became very dark as the night sky. Butch and my grandmother disappeared when this was going on. I started walking around to try to find any type of civilization. As I was doing this I noticed an orange light. Next to the light, there was a tree that looked like a dark outline of a silhouette that appeared in front of me. For some weird reason, it kind of looked like a light of fire like if you were to light a candle. I walked over towards the light as I was looking at the light and it looked like it had some type of life in it. When I was looking at it I touched the light and it started shining extremely brightly as it was doing this I was able to see what the tree looked like. After I saw the tree I heard a voice saying that your uncle is with the Lord.

When the light started to dim down. I saw that I was in a place and I was surrounded by a bunch of clouds. I looked down towards my feet and I saw that I was standing on the clouds too and that I was able to walk on them as well. I had no idea where I was but I felt like I was at so much peace for some reason. As I was walking around this place I saw the biggest surprise of my life. When I was in this place I had the feeling it was telling me to do something. I felt like it was talking to me but without actually having to talk to me. Without actually having to use any words like it was giving me senses on what to do or knowing what was going to happen. Out of nowhere, I sensed that I was supposed to turn around. When I did so I saw the same light that I touched just a few moments ago before I was transferred to a place filled with many clouds. The light started to dim down again. When It was dimming down again this time an angel appeared in front of me.

I was so amazed to see this happening right in front of me because I knew that I was in the house of God. The angel was wearing all white with a purple sash and it also had hair that was glowing red too. When the hair was glowing it was as if the angel was wearing a crown on top of his head. When I was looking at the angel I couldn’t help but notice that he was smiling at me like he had known who I was and I was trying to think if I knew who he was until the whole thing finally hit me. The angel I was looking at was my Uncle Butch who I had watched die from his drug addiction. When I realized that it was my Uncle. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. What felt like 3 years felt like an eternity for me because when he had died I felt like I was stuck like I couldn't move on with life. Afterwards, we hugged. I felt like I was invincible, like if there was nothing that could harm me. I also realized that I was also wearing all white like my Uncle was but I was wearing a blue sash after the hug. I felt like I changed and I'm guessing that I had become an angel too. After My Uncle and I were walking around in the clouds. In other words, we were walking in Heaven together as we were doing this my Uncle and I were just looking at each other and we were just smiling at each other. We were also talking to each other without really talking because, in Heaven, you can talk to other angels without really saying any words.

As Butch and I were walking around in Heaven we had to teleport. We had to do so because in Heaven there is a beginning but there is not an end. As my Uncle and I were doing this in the kingdom of everlasting life, we looked at each other and we held each other's hands. When we did this, we created a light and you could feel nothing but happiness, joy, and love from the light's energy. Out of curiosity, I was wondering how I was with my uncle in Heaven because I knew that I didn’t die. I turned around to my Uncle and I was going to ask him how all this was possible if I didn't die yet. When I did this I noticed that I was actually able to talk with actually using real words but when I did this I noticed that my Uncle was gone. When I noticed that my Uncle was gone. I started yelling out his name to try and find him. As I was doing this a very strong wind came out of nowhere and the clouds started glowing in a golden and yellow color. When the wind came to a stop I noticed that I was standing on top of this huge mountain. It had seemed to come out of nowhere. All of a sudden I heard a voice that said my name and when I heard the voice I looked up and I saw Butch. He had become a cloud himself. He was still an angel of course but he was formed into a cloud. When Butch said my name his voice was extremely loud and his voice sounded like thunder as well. Around Butch, there were several stars. I have never seen so many stars that close before in my life. As I and Butch were looking I noticed that he was looking at me as if he was concerned about me. Then Uncle Butch had spoken to me and he said “Hey Bishop you forgot about me man”. When he said this I replied to him and said no and I asked him what he meant by that? Then Butch told me “ When I die you had forgotten who you were so you have forgotten about me and when I died a part of you died too”. When Uncle Butch told me this I told him that “I have been feeling kind of depressed lately” Then he told me “That's why you need to take on the role that God has for you” When Butch told me this I took a deep breath. I was very upset because I knew I had to go back to earth and I was also going to be separated from him again, let alone live out my days living with depression and social anxiety. Then I told Butch that I don’t even know who I was anymore because I felt so lost. Then Butch smiled and looked at me and said that. “You're my nephew and the new me remember who you are” The moment he said this I started getting flashbacks/visions of the past. I started to remember things of what I liked and what my character was. When this was happening I was shown a documentary of Butch’s life and my life. When the documentary was almost over it was showing Butch’s face turning into me as a grown man. When I was done remembering He told me again to REMEMBER!

Then Butch’s spirit started to glow and turned white and he flew down and hit me with his spirit the moment he did I felt so revived and I no longer felt my depression or my anxiety. I felt as if the breath of life was blown right back into me. When Butch's spirit was fading he told me one more time to "REMEMBER", and he was kind of giggling. When he was vanishing I closed my eyes again and I had returned back to earth. I was in the exact same place where I was when I was confronting God in my house. A few weeks after the whole thing happened I had a vision of me thanking Butch for helping me out. Then I asked him if it was a dream or a vision and he smiled and looked at me and told me “You decide”. The next day after my vision with Butch I went to school. I saw two of my friends Marshall and Tyler. They told me that they could feel like there was something that was different about me. They told me that it was like I was a different person.

With a smile on their faces. Months later I decided to give my life back to Christ and to get baptized again. When I did, I didn’t tell my family I was getting baptized. I didn’t want them to know all the things I was going through. I felt like my darkness was going to hurt them and maybe even make them depressed. So I lied and told them that I had a friend at my school who wanted to be baptized and he invited me to go support him. Finally, when the day came I was in the front row of the church and I was waiting on my turn to be baptized. While I was waiting I heard this voice calling my name in my head and it told me. “Bishop before you get baptized I want you to forgive Shakira for what she did I know that it doesn’t sound fair but when you don’t forgive the ones that hurt you that you are still giving them power over your life and that they don’t deserve, hate is wrong”.

If you are curious to know when I heard this voice in my head I knew It was not my Uncle’s voice that was speaking to me. It had finally come to be my turn to give my life to Christ. When I went into the water I believed that it was Pastor John who had asked me, if “I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and if I believed that he died on the cross to save me from my sin”. When he asked me this I told him yes. This time when I got baptized I did it for myself. When he put me in the water it was like I could almost see my Uncle Butch smiling down from Heaven and telling me to "REMEMBER".

After Pastor John pulled me out of the water it felt like all of that hate that was inside of me had just magically disappeared. I had felt so brand new and so refreshed from everything that had happened during those three years of my life. After I got baptized I realized that I forgot to bring a towel.

When my mother picked me up from the church she asked me why I was soaking wet. She told me that “I thought that your friend was getting baptized”. I smiled and looked at her and told her that “I am my friend”. She asked me how come I got baptized again and why I didn't tell the family. When she said that I told her that there were some personal things that I needed to take care of. I didn't want to tell her and the rest of my family because like I already said before I didn’t want my darkness to come back and hunt them. After when I was in Heaven with Uncle Butch, I was curious to know why his sash was purple and mine was blue. After having this thought I decided to go onto Google to look up what they were symbolizing.

Along with the other colors that I also saw in the Kingdom of Heaven. These are the colors and the symbols of what they meant when I was having my testimony. The colors that I saw were orange, black, brown, green, purple, blue, red, yellow, gold, and white. The brown door that I opened when I saw my Uncle and my Grandmother in the hospital.

What does the color of the green leaves represent in the bible? “But grow in grace And knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen    2 Peter 3:18” What does the color brown represent in the bible? “Life; Change of Season; Born Again: Without Spirit; Repentance Or Turning From Dead Works; Spiritual Death”

When I saw the light that I touched it was orange. “The color of fire, orange represents the power and presence of God as well as prophetic warning.” “The color of enthusiasm and emotion. Orange exudes warmth and joy and is considered a fun color that provides emotional strength. It is optimistic and uplifting adds spontaneity and positivity to life and encourages social communication and creativity. It is a youthful and energetic color”, “SYMBOLIZES Emotion, Youth, Optimism, Enthusiasm” “EFFECTS Encourages, Uplifts, Stimulates, Communicate” “POSITIVE Spontaneity, Creativity, Warmth, Positivity” “NEGATIVE Exhibitionism, Superficial, Impatient, Domination”.

The black place that I was in before I touched the orange light. “The color black symbolizes suffering and death in the bible. It’s used to represent mourning” “Jobs 30:28, 30, Jeremiah 14:2” famine “Lamentations 5:10, Revelation 6:5”, the judgment of sin “Jude 13”, death and the gave “Job 10:21-22”, and more. “The color black lacks brightness and hue” “Negative Depression, Sadness, Pessimism, Dominance” “Used to” “Hide Feelings, Intimidate, Radiate authority, Create fear, Associate with fear”

When I saw my uncle in heaven he was wearing a purple sash. “Purple stands as a reminder that Jesus is the king of kings. It also represents virtue, spirituality, and physical wealth as with the Proverbs 31 woman.” “The color of spirituality and imagination.

Purple inspires us to divulge our innermost thoughts, which enlightens us with the wisdom of who we are and encourages spiritual growth. It is often associated with royalty and luxury and its mystery and magic sparks creative fantasies.” “Symbolizes Spirituality, Mystery, Royalty, Imagination” “Affects, Enlightens, Inspires, Uplifts, Encourages,” Positive compassion, Fantasy, Wisdom, Creativity,  Negative, Sensitive, Vigilant, Immature, Emotional.

Purple reminds us that God is King Deuteronomy 10:17” When my uncle hugged me in heaven I was turned into an angel and I received a blue sash. “Blue the color of the priest’s garments, indicates a servant of Heaven and the heavenly authority of a believer in Jesus. It is a reminder to be holy”.

Blue-Baptism, Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. Mark 16:16” “Blue stands for faith” “We Become right with God, not by doing what the law commands, but by faith in Jesus Christ Galatians 2:16” “BLUE” “The color of trust and loyalty. Blue has a calming and relaxing effect on our psyche, which gives us peace and makes us feel confident and secure. It dislikes confrontation and too much attention, but it's an honest, reliable, and responsible color and you can always count on its support.” “SYMBOLIZES Security, Trust, Loyalty, Responsible” “EFFECTS Protects, Calms, Relaxes, Supports” “POSITIVE, Confidence, Peace, Honesty, Reliability,” “NEGATIVE, Conservative, Passive, Depressed, Predictable”

When I saw my Uncle Butch’s hair it was red and it also had a shiny glow to it as if he was wearing a crown. “Red represents the love of God. It also refers to the blood sacrifice necessary to atone for sins, and the blood of Jesus that makes us righteous before God.” “Red stands for the blood Jesus shed on the cross for our sins God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life” “John 3:16” When the clouds were changing before I saw my Uncle's giant spirit in the sky they were changing into a yellow/ gold color.

“Yellow, or gold, is used to represent the divinity of God and his holiness. Refers to the refining process of fire to make gold your faith” pure.” “Yellow stands for the promise of eternal life” “Jesus said” “I am going to prepare a place for you … I will come and get you so that you will always be with me where I am '' John 14:2-3. After my Uncle told me to "REMEMBER" who I was and refreshed my memory, his spirit began to shine and turn white and came down and hit me.

“White the color of purity and innocence. White is a true balance of all colors. It is associated with cleanliness, simplicity, and perfection. It loves to make others feel good and provides hope and clarity by refreshing and purifying the mind. It also promotes open-mindedness and self-reflection” “SYMBOLIZES Cleanliness, Purity, Innocence, Perfection” “EFFECTS Refreshes, Balances, Purifies, Simplifies” “POSITIVE Goodness, Hope, Clarity, Openness”. White stands for being cleansed and forgiven. “Purify me from sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow” Psalm 51:7.  White is for our forgiveness. 

What do doors represent in the bible? According to biblical scholars, doors signify communication and agreement. Often, When the doors are open they were in communication with God and others. When they were closed, they did not communicate or were not in agreement. That is the foundation of the meaning of open doors.

What do trees represent in the bible?  Trees are in the paradise of God.

In Revelation 22, we learn that the tree of life bears fruit crops 12 times a year, and its leaves are for healing powers at our disposal now, which is a sign of God’s provision for us.” My Uncle's voice sounded like thunder and lightning in Heaven. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him” Jesus answered… Heavenly beings tend to sound like thunder when they talk.” When My Uncle told me that I needed to take on the role that God had for me. I didn't understand what he meant by that. I mean I knew that I had a job to do but I didn’t know exactly what I was supposed to do as one of God's servants. Right now with the whole world a mess with the whole pandemic due to the Coronavirus I thought about writing a book and sharing my gift to the world and letting people know that there is a loving God. At first, I had no intentions of writing or sharing my story with anyone because I didn’t want anyone to go around and gossip about me. Or maybe say that I was lying and saying that Bishop is just seeking attention. Or maybe even think that I am going insane or something. The thought of writing this book was tempting me for a while. The fear of judgment was also holding me back from God’s plan and the purpose that he had for my life.

One night before going to bed I sat down and I was praying to God. I was praying and asking God what it was that he wanted me to do and I asked God if he would show me a sign of what he desired and whatever it was I was going to do by his will. The next morning I decided that I wanted to go to Church. In some form, it was going to be more than a service for me. Personally I felt like it was going to be some type of message that was specifically for me. It's kind of difficult to explain but when I was in heaven with Butch I kind of knew what to do when I was up there. It was like there were no surprises or any instructions that I needed to follow. It was like my senses were at their peak.

When I went to Abundant Living is the name of the Church where I go to and where I got baptized, I went inside to take a seat and I waited for the service to start. I think the pastor that was preaching to the Church that day was Pastor Adam. During the service Pastor, Adam was talking to us about fear and how you shouldn’t let it separate you from God’s plan. They were also talking about exactly what I was praying for and Pastor Adam was begging to talk about testimonies. Adam was saying how we should all go out into the world and tell people their testimonies. That we shouldn’t let fear get into our way of God’s purpose for our life for it is an evil spirit. Just like it says in the bible. “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him shall never be ashamed.       

 Psalm 34:4-52” “Even though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4” “For I, the LORD your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’ Isaiah 41:13” “You shall not fear them, for it is the Lord your God who fights for you. Deuteronomy 3:22” “But fear not, O Jacob my servant, nor be dismayed, O Israel for behold, I will save you from far away, and your offspring from the land of their captivity. Jacob shall return and have quiet and ease, and none shall make him afraid. Jeremiah 46:27” That is how God answers my prayers on how I should serve him as one of his son’s. What was it that inspired me to write this book? What inspired me was that God sacrificed one of his lamb’s my own Uncle to save my life. Like it even says in the Bible “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 16:25” Another thing that inspired me was seeing my Uncle Butch again in the kingdom of heaven and when he was telling me to remember who I was. When my Uncle’s spirit flew down and hit me, I felt so refreshed and I felt like I had a second chance at life. There isn’t one day in my life where I haven’t felt my Uncle’s spirit inside of me. Also my friends Martel, Daniel, Jasmin, and Kassandra were there supporting me when I was going through the darkest moments of my life. Finally, the last reason why I have been inspired to write this book is that there are many people who are maybe going through depression, anxiety, or maybe even suicidal thoughts. I just want to let these people know to never give up on life. Somewhere in this world, you are someones' smile.

There is a living God who loves you and will never abandon you even if you abandon him as I did. Like I always say I know that you were only my Uncle Butch but you will always and will forever be a king in my eyes. “REMEMBER”!

Even when we go through pain or sorrow in life...God has a way to remind us there is always a reason to live and be happy we are here. Recently I found out that I too will be an Uncle to little life that has yet to join us. My sister is having A BABY!!! The best part is, he or she will have my namesake and will be a shining KNIGHT when he or she arrives. Uncle Bishop is on the way!!

10 Responses to “REMEMBER” by Bishop Riley- MY STORY, GOD’S GLORY! (A teenagers journey from depression to CHRIST)

  1. Lee Anthony says:

    For anyone wanting an audio download of the story you can go to https://bibletalkwithleeanthony.org/bible-podcasts-with-lee/

    Scroll down the podcast page to find and download the mp3

  2. jacqueline says:

    I think this is a great addition Bishop and Lee to be able to listen to the story!

    I have put it on top and will send out an email blast to some of the ones that have come on the Saturday night support group.

    You guys worked hard. I know your story will help someone Bishop.

  3. jacqueline says:

    Bishop, hello. Since we have given time for many to read your story (which really is a book), I think it might be time for a book review.

    I suggest Saturday, December 11, 2021, at the support group meeting that begins at 7 pm CST, 8 pm EST, and 5 pm pacific.

    A book review would be nice I think because there are some facets of your experience that can be searched out in the Bible.

    Many voices will give more clarity on the very unique experience you had!

    If this date is okay with you, this is the link for persons to find the info on zoom for the BOOK REVIEW.

    https://askjacqueline.life/freeconferencecall/

    Please invite your friends and family and I will post it on my Facebook page in case some want to come on.

    I belong to a Book Club of CEOs of non-profit organizations.
    We have met all year once a month to review books on Racism. These were very constructive conversations.

    We really like the fact that we have an actual Author to be on with us to discuss your book “Remember”.
    This is an example of how a Book review is presented. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6MJEhHIHxY

  4. jacqueline says:

    Bishop, what a journey! I went through various emotions as I read each page of your book, wondering what was next in your short life.
    I unlike many who will begin reading this knew the outcome, but my heart still pounded.

    You might be missing your calling, you are a writer or in today’s lingo, a Blogger!
    I hope that the link will be shared to online youth sites so they may see there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    May God bless your ministry to help young ones suffering from mental issues brought on by our society or our diminishing inheritance gene pool.

    God is still on the throne and he will get behind you and send his Holy Spirit to guide you.
    Jacqueline

    • Bishop Riley says:

      Hi Jacqueline. Thank you so much for publishing my book on your site I really appreciate it. Also thank you for helping me to shine the Lords light on those who are in the enemies darkness. Feel free to share my book to who ever you like. Have a bless day.

      • Lee Anthony says:

        Bishop Riley,

        Shalom!
        It is good to see someone from the younger generation stand up for the Way in a world full of those living in darkness. Each new generation seems to form a new plank of the great gate which is the wide gate to destruction that Yeshua speaks of in Matthew 7. Of interest here is the greek word pyle translated gate, it is literally the folding leaf of an entrance which opens and closes in the front of a building, like a castle for example, (Remember the door of the ark in Genesis). This word can also mean gate to a prison, a temple, or metaphorically to a specific state, in this case LIFE or Destruction. You are a plank in the gate to life, a very small part of a very small entrance which together is a part of the whole building, in this case the temple. (Ephesians 2:19-22)

        All that being said it is good to hear stories like yours, as even the angels in heaven rejoice at those who turn away from the old person and its ways, (Luke 15:10) how much more ought we to rejoice as well! I would love to invite you to share your testimony in audio if you would like. There are stories of many others here on the site and yours would be a great addition if you like, it could even go out onto youtube or my website as well, your choice of course.

        Yours in Messiah Yeshua
        Lee Anthony

        • Bishop Riley says:

          Hi Lee Anthony. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. It mean’s a lot to me. Yes I would love for you to use my story to spread the word of God to other people. This is my Instagram if you would like to contact me. bishop_ disciples. Have a blessed day.

  5. Rene says:

    Hello Bishop. A very warm welcome to our community. Thank you so much for sharing your story and how our wonderful God and his son Jesus Christ have worked with you in your life and how a personal tragedy became a powerful personal testimony. There are so many people who are struggling under the bonds of depression and Satanic oppression and may not have the spiritual insight to understand what is happening to them and how they can overcome it through the love and power of God. I am sure that your time in our community is such a wonderful bridge between you and God and I know that you will be a spiritual comfort to those who are in need of spiritual encouragement and reassurance as they endure there tests and spiritual struggles. Once again thank you for your contribution to the Body of Christ and we look forward to your contributions in the future.

    • Bishop Riley says:

      Hi Rene. Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to share my gift with those who are in need of god. I hope my story helps you to REMEBER that there is a god you can lean on when you feel overwhelmed with your emotions.

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